My Mom's Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

Okay, so I'm a little late posting this. My mom's birthday was April 19th. She turned 82! So let's all say Happy Birthday to Reta G.

Don't worry, I didn't totally forget her. I gave her a call on her birthday and the monthly family party is on Saturday. Like everyone else in our family, mom has to share her party with other family members. That's just the curse of having a large family. Our April birthdays consist of my son-in-law Craig, my grandson Colin, mom and my daughter Laurel, but this is just about Mom.

Reta Mary Anne Williams was born on April 19th, 1925 to Carrie & Jake Williams who were both Native. My grandmother was Onadaga and my grandfather was Tuscarora. She was their first child, although my grandmother had a son from her first husband and my grandfather had 2 children from his first wife.

Mom has always had lots of stories to tell of her childhood - some good and some not so good. She grew up during the depression and knows all about doing without. My grandfather worked as a foreman on farms in Southern Ontario, so they never lacked for food or a roof over their heads. However mom was expected to pitch in and help form a very young age.

One of the stories she tells is of having to cook a hot lunch on a wood stove for her family and the farm hands while watching her younger sister, my Aunt Dolly. She set the chimney on fire! While we would never even think of leaving a nine year old in charge of a 5 year old sibling, let alone having to cook a meal on a woodstove, that is the way things were then and I'm sure she got in a lot of trouble for not opening the chimney damper. I would challenge anyone reading this to cook a meal on a woodstove now and see how you manage.

Mom remembers her grandparents coming to visit at Christmas in a horse drawn sleigh! She insists to this day that when she heard Santa's sleigh and reindeer complete with sleigh bells one Christmas on the roof that her older half brother, my Uncle Jack, had something to do with it. To his dying day, Uncle Jack denied any part of it.

Clothes were washed by hand with water drawn from the well, or in the winter from melted snow. Sad irons were heated up on the wood stove and everything was ironed. I mean everything, not just clothes but bed sheets, pillow cases and tea towels. No automatic washers and dryers back then, let alone perma press.

When supper was cooking, a large kettle of water was put on the stove to heat to wash the dishes and being the oldest girl mom was expected to get up and clear the table and do the dishes as soon as meals were finished. Heaven help her if her father had to tell her to get to work!

No central heating back then. Mom remembers all to well waking up in a freezing cold house to my grandfather starting the fire. No running water. The crock that held drinking water would have a layer of ice on the top in the morning and that was in the house. No indoor plumbing. The outhouse was in the backyard and there would be a pail in the house to use during the night. Think about how cold it would be going to the outhouse to do your 'business', let alone having to empty and clean out the pail that was in the house. In the summer you had to watch for snakes in the outhouse, so you always had to 'check the hole' before you sat down! Now why any respectable snake would want to hang out in an outhouse hole is beyond me, but that was a favorite hide out of snakes.

Mom left school part way through grade 8. She was needed to help out with the work at home. By the time she was 15, she had a job in a canning factory. A 'Big Night Out' for mom was going into Hamilton on Saturday afternoon and maybe going to a show and for ice cream afterwards. Her favorite flavor even now is Vanilla.

She was engaged at 18 to a soldier, but she sent the ring back in a chocolate box. I think she ate the chocolates first though.

Mom was 21 when she met my dad while working at E.D. Smith's canning factory. They married after dating for only 3 months on November 30th, 1946. Due to some physical problems my mother was unable to conceive until she had 2 surgeries. I was born in 1955. By then my mom also was having marriage problems.

My father has always had a fair bit of wanderlust in him, so our family moved a lot. From the time they married, they lived in Fruitland, Hamilton, Stratford, Mallorytown, Brockville, Sept Iles Quebec and North Bay. My mom always wanted to be near her family, so in 1962 we moved back to Hamilton. They had separated in 1954 and again in 1961. In 1968 the separated for good. Not only did my father like to move around a lot, he also had a wandering eye when it came to other women.

From the time they married, my mother had worked at various jobs. Canning factories, house cleaning, grape vine tying in the spring and fruit picking in the summer and fall. After they separated, she went back to factory work. For any of you who have never done factory work, I can only say that you don't know how lucky you are. I remember when mom working at Ware's Foods packing jello powder and coming home and washing her hair. You could tell what flavor they were packing by what colour the water was.

Mom started dating an old family friend, Carl Gerard, late in 1968. They had known each other since the early 50's when Carl and my dad worked together. Carl had been divorced since the early 60's and along with his 2 children lived with his parents. They married July 25th, 1972.

Mom continued working until due to health problems she had to retire in 1980. After Carl retired in 1987, they spent 6 months of the year in Florida for 10 years. In 2000 they sold the house that they had lived in for 30 years and bought a smaller house. By that time mom could no longer drive due to health problems. She has been a hard time accepting her limitations in the last few years and now will tell you that she's not as young as she used to be and can't do what she once could.

Family has always been very important to mom. She was Nanny Trixie (that name came from the family dog) to my kids and is Cookie Nanny to her great grandchildren, due to the fact that she always has cookies for them. She still talks to her sister, my Aunt Dolly, at least once a day and is currently looking forward to her grandson's stag and doe next Saturday and his wedding in June as well as Carl's grandson Matthew's wedding in May. Knowing my mother as I do, she will be up dancing at least once or twice at each of these occasions. From one child and 2 stepchildren mom has wound up with 7 grandchildren and their partners, and 14 great grandchildren and yes she buys for all of us at Christmas and birthdays.

I could go on for hours telling you some of my mother's stories and I'm sure I will tell you more of them in time. However, for now I just want to say that I was blessed with a very loving mother who has had to take a lot in stride in the last 82 years. I know I speak for all of our family when I say that God blessed us all with this wonderful person that I call MOM.

Mom, May God Bless and Keep You for many years to come. We all love you more than we can ever say.

Your Daughter

Anne Marie